Graphics: The graphic quality is slightly sub-standard (although they are impressive when one stops to think about the system requirements needed for the smooth operation given) compared to many of the current titles available. It would be fair to equate them to Mechwarrior Mercenaries. The mechs look good, it is just that some cool graphical features would have been nice to have. The best part of the graphics is, after knocking the slobber out of your pal with a large laser, smoke and fire trails from his gaping wounds. However, to judge the system based purely on graphics would be a shame, as the true value is in its fun-factor. Whining maggots. 3 out of 5

   Sound: With all the warning buzzers going off, the computer voice advising me about ammo fires, and people yelling "you are so my bitch" over the headsets, I kind of forgot to notice the sound. Of course that’s what happens when you send a monkey to do the job. Actually the coolest part was being able to talk to your buddies in their cockpits. Especially after launching some LRMs and telling your target "long range delivery for Dungapult" right before they tear holes in his superstructure. 4 out of 5

   Game Play: Virtual World puts you in what an actual cockpit of a mech would probably look like, and then sends you out to wreak havoc among the masses. Killing your friends has never been so much fun. At times, even getting killed yourself is fun as warning lights are flashing everywhere, ammunition is burning and you desperately fight to save your mech.
There are three simulation modes to choose from, directly corresponding to the complexity wanted and experience level of a player. The three modes are Standard, Veteran, and Expert. In standard mode, weapons accumulate no heat, rather they have a set time before they will fire again, the mech’s armor is improved, and the damage taken is reduced. This makes it fair to play against more experienced players who generally can kick your ass anyway. However, this practice (dubbed seal clubbing) is frowned upon at the arenas, and earns the quick retribution from the protective mother mechs. Veteran mode not only takes away the increased armor and weapon damage, it also adds weapon subsystems, ammo jams, and critical hits. In expert mode you get all of the above nastiness and get the added pleasure of dealing with heat build-up. Just for your amusement, when we played on expert most of my deaths were from overheating and my ammo blowing up. I was told this was normal for newbies, although everyone else just told me that I sucked.
On the more advanced settings, you control every aspect of your mech’s weaponry and power management systems. When you take damage that shuts down a generator for your weapons, you have to reroute said weapons to a new generator to get them back on line. For the uninitiated this means many flashing red lights in the cockpit, and furious button pressing in the midst of getting clobbered by jerks who apparently do not care that you are trying to save yourself.
The in-game features are awesome, but here in Seattle at Wizards of the Coast (WotC) gaming center, the community aspect is especially pronounced. Many Seattle-area pilots have contributed to some very cool concepts. First and foremost is what I called a POH (pilot’s operating handbook), a book written by pilots for pilots. Included are subjects such as the pilot code, mech and weapon statistics, maps, dueling codes, team tactics, mech configurations, and boot camps. The community features international competitions, a hall of champions, and guild nights where they all get together, talk about fragging each other and get inebriated on cool malt beverages. And let me tell you chicks dig Battletech talk. This is everything you loved about the board game, and wished you could do. Learn it, love it, live it. 5 out of 5

   Level and Environment Designs: If I thought one area of gameplay suffered it was here. Basically we fought in just big open spaces. Sure there were some hills to hide behind, and on other maps there were burnt out buildings or missile launch pads, but so much more could have been done. It would have been awesome to chase people through cities, or stomped around in a forest. The levels were passable, but there is definite room for improvement here. 2 out of 5

   Multiplayer: Well since there is no single-player, multiplayer better kick ass, and oh, does it ever. Do you like to destroy your friends, and then stomp their egos into the ground? Then you will love the Battletech Tesla Pods. You could, and since you’ve taken the time to read this review proving yourself a gaming geek, and probably will waste the better part of your life playing this game. And for those of you whom have read previous reviews by this esteemed simian, you’ll know that I love any game where it is appropriate to berate friends with taunts such as "bitch". 5 out of 5, but I wish I could give it more.

   Replayability: To increase the replayability, Virtual World has introduced various types of gameplay. Specifically, Red Planet missions. Red Planet missions are an alternative to death matching or team play. In Red Planet one can play a mech version of football, racing, death racing, or racing against time, and while we did not have time to play them all they sound very cool. Say goodbye to your family friends and don’t even bother trying to explain it to your girlfriend, JUST PLAY! In fact, the only reason to leave is to go to work for more money so you can play again tomorrow. 5 out of 5

   Instructions and Learning Curve: The guys at WotC kick ass. Thanks to Kitch, R2, and Magus who all babied us through our first missions and helped us figure out all the cool buttons. Which I promptly just started mashing as soon as I was in combat, but that is my ineptitude, not theirs. While it is an easy system to figure out, one could probably spend a lifetime becoming a true master. The instructions start with an instructional video featuring superstars including Judge Rhinehold, and who we are pretty sure is Joan Severence. It was super corny, and will have you yelling at the screen in disgust, exactly the mood you want to be in to play. The guys are very good at helping out newbies configure and learn the system. This monkey was thoroughly impressed by the instruction given by the WotC crew. 5 out of 5

   The Verdict:

       I am firmly convinced that there is no better way to humiliate your buddies than to climb into a Battletech pod, and proceed to make a bitch of a so-called friend with auto cannons and lasers. All I can say (okay, I can, and will [to the chagrin of many] say more, but this phrase lends more "oomph" to my review) is "Why aren't you playing this for Christ’s sake?" My god this is fun.

   The Good: The whole damn experience. I can’t wait to go again.

   The Bad: Could have used better level designs.

   The Overall Ugly: Don’t pass these guys up, they have the coolest equipment, the best people, and far away the most neat-o game on the planet.

   Is it worth the $5 per 10 minute Game Admission Price: Most definitely, but they do run specials so check it out beforehand. Right now a $20 day pass will get you in from 11-4 Monday-Friday.